I ended up not going to class today. I woke up and almost instantaneously started having an anxiety attack. I have no idea what triggered it, and I'm still trying to figure out what happened exactly. I hate having anxiety. It's so paralyzing. It makes it so even the most mundane of tasks such as getting out of bed, or making breakfast are next to impossible. When I finally did get out of bed, I had leftover pizza for breakfast. It was the only thing that sounded good unfortunately. I'm not quite sure what to do about these panic attacks that I keep having. It's interesting, my Mom seems to be having them for seemingly no reason as well. Who knows what it is, but I'd like to be able to do something about it. I don't want to screw up my standing in the pre-apprenticeship program I'm in, which will most likely lead to full time employment. Responsibility can be daunting, especially when my emotions are out of whack. Hopefully I can figure all this crap out soon.
To make myself feel better I tried working on some new tunes, but everything that was coming out was really dark. That's not a bad thing, but I didn't feel like dealing with dark music that could potentially stress me out more. I saved my projects and decided to do my final mixing and mastering later. Maybe tonight if I feel better, but I can tell you right now that it just feels like one of those days. I'll probably end up playing guitar, and not recording it. Most likely I will try to make myself feel better by playing xbox, but that's merely a temporary fix. Forza 4 is what's keeping me sane right now... that and Minecraft.
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